


Illusion

by chaenyoo



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Everyone needs a Song Mingi, Fanboy life, M/M, San is confusing, Seonghwa doesn't have lines but he's important, University life too, We love you Choi Jongho, Wooyoung is an idiot, Yunho is sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2020-07-30 05:44:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20092228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaenyoo/pseuds/chaenyoo
Summary: Wooyoung and Yunho are both huge fans of Park Seonghwa, a rising male idol. They met online but soon found out they study in the same university so at that— they became close. Wooyoung, however, sees Yunho more than a friend yet he can’t make a move since the taller boy has a special someone named San.





	1. Chapter 1

“Yunho!” Wooyoung comes running over to the black-haired who was peacefully eating lunch with San on one of the tables just outside their department building.

Yunho almost choked when the brown-haired boy wrapped his arms around his neck. The blond boy on the other side laughed at the two.

“Have you seen Seonghwa’s new post? He dyed his hair back to black!” Wooyoung frantically scrolls on his Instagram feed and immediately stops at the idol’s recent selfie.

Yunho swallows his food, rather painfully before turning to the screen. “I would have died before even seeing the picture Woo.”

“Oh sorry about that.” Wooyoung giggles then let goes of the other. He holds out his phone closer to Yunho’s face to let him take a closer look.

“Seonghwa looks good with black hair.” Wooyoung expected Yunho to comment but it was San.

Yunho takes the phone from Wooyoung’s hand and started to type something. The brown-haired frowned in confusion but didn’t stop his friend from doing so.

“Sorry, my phone is depending on my power bank with only one bar left so I’m preventing myself from using it.” Yunho looks at his friend with puppy eyes as he still— magically— types. “You don’t mind if I comment using your account, right?”

“I’ve typed like 20 comments already but sure.” Wooyoung smiled so widely, his eyes squinted.

“Did he dye it for a comeback?” San spoke again. This time, Wooyoung couldn’t help but give an answer.

“Holy shit? What if he did though? There is no news about it whatsoever.” He isn’t even sure if his tone of voice sounded a bit too fake but he can’t seem to get rid of his awkwardness around the blond.

No, Wooyoung does not hate San. He doesn’t hate him at all. There isn’t something worth hating about the boy— he’s nice, fun to be with, smart, not to mention he’s pretty as fuck too. But the fact that he’s the special someone of the guy he likes, Wooyoung finds it difficult to act normal around him.

“I’m betting he did.” San nods slowly with lips gradually forming a smirk.

“50,000.” Yunho raises a 50,000 won bill which he took from only god knows which pocket. “I bet he just dyed it for no reason, just like when he dyed his hair pink for only a week.”

“Alright, 50,000 it is.” The blond shows his own paper bill. “Are you betting too, Wooyoung?”

Wooyoung shakes his head. “I’m too broke to even bet a thousand.”

“For real?!” The two exclaimed in unison.

“Okay, I might have exaggerated but you already know that I’m always broke.”

“Choose a side! Mine or Yunho’s?” San waved his money in the air subconsciously. He notices it himself after a second and puts it back in his wallet.

Yunho glances over Wooyoung, seemingly to silently tell the latter to join his side.

“I choose San’s.” Wooyoung answered nonchalantly as he stared back at Yunho who showed a sign of betrayal and disappointment. He did it not only to tease his friend but to try and improve his comfortability with San.

“If I win this, I’m taking Wooyoung on a date.”

The brown-haired abruptly turned his head to the blond and widens his eyes. A date with San sounds like a bad idea, the worst idea ever. He's trying to improve his relationship with San but a date is an absolute no.

“Could you remind me again why I love you?” Yunho asks in dismay.

Wooyoung shifts his gaze to Yunho, slower than what he did earlier. He heard those 3 words from the guy he likes. Unfortunately, it isn’t directed to him. It will never be directed to him.

The blond’s laugh echoed through his mind as he didn’t take his eyes off Yunho. He’s used to the two of them flirting but being used to something doesn’t mean he actually likes it.

“I hate myself.” Wooyoung bangs his head against his study table and begins to harshly ruffle his hair.

“I mean, I do too.” Jongho, his younger roommate, speaks before taking a sip of his black coffee. “I hate you too. You’re noisy.”

The brown-haired looks at the other with an angry expression on his face. “Wow, that’s comforting.”

“Don’t worry Woo, I love you.” Mingi, the older roommate, goes to him and finger combs his hair in an attempt to make it look decent. “What is it this time though? It’s like every week you have a new dilemma. You’re gonna go bald soon, you know?”

“I hate it when I spend time with the two lovebirds. It’ll start fun and shit but it’ll end with them flirting with each other.”

“Gross.” Jongho grimaced.

“I know right?!” Wooyoung fake cries in front of his two roommates.

The younger boy clicks his tongue in annoyance. “I mean gross because you’re complaining about that again.”

The brown-haired got disheartened at the remark but receives pats from Mingi a second later.

“Woo..” The taller male looks at him with the most sincere eyes. “What did you expect? They’re in a relationship, as you’ve been saying, yet you are complaining about them flirting. I love you but you’re not making any sense man.”

Right, Wooyoung isn’t making sense. He doesn’t have the right to feel that way. He shouldn’t be acting too touchy with Yunho in the first place, he shouldn’t be approaching the pair too much and spending so much time with them. San is probably irritated with how he pops up out of nowhere, disturbing his alone time with Yunho. It’s even worse if Yunho’s the one annoyed with him.

He wasn’t like this before, until he became aware that a Choi San exists in Yunho’s life. He only met the blond 2 weeks ago. It’s weird how he’s been friends with Yunho for 4 months but the taller male never mentioned having a special person in his life. He’s spent 4 months having fun with Yunho, hugging him whenever he wants to, talking to him about Seonghwa and life in general until midnight— and then in one blink of an eye, he met a person who’s been hugging Yunho tighter and who’s been talking to him about how much they love each other.

It’s painful and he hates how much he’s staying to suffer from it instead of just moving on.

“Why is it so hard to move on?” Wooyoung continues to sulk.

Jongho didn’t comment anything harsh this time and remained silent, as if he’s finally feeling some pity for his older roommate. In fact, the room is unnervingly silent before Mingi loudly sighed.

“It takes time Wooyoung.”

Those words kept repeating inside his mind. He wants to get over it quickly. He hates the concept of time— how can it go so fast when one is feeling so happy but it goes irritatingly slow when one is in need to heal from some certain damage?

Wooyoung scrolls down his social media feeds as he’s lying down on his bed. He shifts from Twitter to Instagram, he even checks his Tumblr which he barely does because it’s practically empty and he doesn’t know how to use it properly. He looks at numerous posts about Seonghwa— he has seen most of the content but he doesn’t mind at this point. He’s just trying not to dwell on his ‘dumb’ feelings for Yunho.

He whines a little when a call notification popped out. It’s from the person he didn’t want to think about.

Wooyoung surveys the room to check on his roommates. Jongho had his earphones on, reading some sort of printed lecture notes. Mingi, on the other hand, also had his earphones on but was watching a film instead. They will probably not mind if he answers the call.

“Hey!” Wooyoung fakes his enthusiasm.

“Ah, you’re still awake? I thought you were already sleeping since you didn’t answer immediately as usual.” Yunho’s voice is calming, really. It’s one of the things Wooyoung likes about him.

He hummed before speaking. “Yeah, sorry about that... I was doing something.”

_Liar, how dare he lie to the person he treasures the most._

“Are you okay?” There was shuffling sounds on Yunho’s line, definitely sounds of papers on a desk.

Wooyoung smiled a little at the simple but heart-wrenching question.

“I’m great actually but why’d you ask? Black-haired Seonghwa already made my day.”

Yunho chuckled, another thing Wooyoung likes a lot. “Just me and my regular thing of checking on you, what’s new?”

“You know I want you to always be the happiest person you can be each day. I’ve told you that several times.”

Freaking Jeong Yunho and his sweet shit.  
How was he supposed to move on if he’s this wonderful of a person?  
Wooyoung laughs but was on the verge of throwing himself on the floor and just cry until he no longer has tears left. His heart is filled with his romantic feelings for Yunho. It’s full, yeah.

Yet, it ached.


	2. Chapter 2

“Good morning!” Yunho waves his hand right in front of Wooyoung’s face just to get his attention since he seemed to be spacing out.

Wooyoung slowly turned, looking at the taller boy standing beside him for a moment. “Where’s San? I thought he’s with you.”

“I never said that. Didn’t I message you I’m coming? I didn’t say we.” Yunho looked a bit perplexed at his friend’s assumption. “Besides, he’s not—“

“Ah, is that so?” The brown-haired grinned, rather awkwardly. “Where do you want to have lunch? You better choose fast because I’m starving already.”

Yunho sighed a little but smiled nonetheless. “I’m thinking we should get Japanese food today.”

He noticed Wooyoung’s eyes began to, weirdly, twinkle at his response. He took this as a sign to start walking ahead.

It’s been days since Yunho noticed Wooyoung’s change in behaviour. It isn’t as drastic as one would think, it isn’t even noticeable to many but it is to him. It’s only been 2 months since he met the guy online, 2 months in person yet somehow, he could pinpoint the slightest decrease in enthusiasm the shorter boy shows. He wants to know the reason, he wants to but he doesn’t have the courage to and it makes him feel bad. What makes the whole situation worse, Yunho isn’t sure of what he should do about an awkward air between two people. Both Wooyoung and San are important to him. The options he’s been having in his mind could possibly make him lose either one of them or both.

He’s stuck in between and being in between is suffocating.

  
As the two of them make their way to the nearest Japanese food store, Yunho listens to the other’s chain of rants and embarrassing stories. He liked listening to Wooyoung, he makes him laugh until he’s all teary-eyed. Right now, the brown-haired is in his usual energetic self— probably because San isn’t with them.

Unlike Wooyoung, San doesn’t seem to be affected. He doesn’t seem to mind anything at all. The blond never brings up anything negative about Wooyoung. Whenever the brown-haired is the subject of their conversation, San just goes on complimenting the other guy. He says he finds him adorable, witty and really charming. Yunho agrees with him every time. As much as he wants to have a serious talk, he can’t bring himself to ask if San is actually alright with Wooyoung. The blond is the most mysterious person he has met and he’s difficult to read— the most difficult if he’s being honest.

Yunho sees himself as a weak, cowardly shit who definitely doesn’t have a way with words. He wants to punch himself sometimes.

“Yunho?” Wooyoung’s voice rang in his mind. He didn’t realise he subconsciously blocked out any noise and started spacing out in the middle of the shorter boy’s story. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” Yunho fakes a smile to somehow look convincing. “The lack of sleep is getting to me, I think.”

“Well, who insisted on staying awake until 4 am?” Wooyoung raises a brow at him.

He scratches his nape, in awkwardness. “I did, sorry.” He laughs.

“Let’s go grab some Japanese treats to make you feel energised.” The brown-haired tugs onto his sleeve. Yunho then realises they’ve already arrived in front of the Japanese fast food shop.

Yunho quietly sits in his 1pm class. It’s a lecture one and it’s just so boring— not because he hates it but because the professor has the most unenthusiastic voice ever. He scribbles down on his notebook, first few pages show organised notes but now it’s become a disastrous doodle book. He’s supposed to have this class with San but the blond is suddenly absent yet again. There’s always a day in every two weeks which San skips and he’ll go back the next day like nothing has happened. When Yunho asks about it, the boy would just shrug and tells him he simply didn’t feel like it. It’s a bad university student behaviour. He swears he has spent every ounce of his persuasive ability on the guy but still, was not able to stop what seems to be a routine. Well, San has passed freshman year with better grades than him even with a quite large absent count so what’s the point?

His potential death by boredom was fortunately lifted with a message notification. Yunho is ever-so-thankful to the literature major for cheering up his bored art major ass each day.

He takes a moment staring at Wooyoung’s contact ID on his phone before actually reading the message that has been sent.

_WY: I bet you’re bored right now. Design theory, yeah?_

_YH: How is it that you remember my subjects better than your own?_

_WY: I care more for others than myself_

_YH: Shut up, you took all the matcha mochi earlier and told me to fuck off_

_WY: Yun, it’s different when it’s food_   
_WY: And I gave you the last one so I’m not entirely a bad guy._

_YH: Yeah the last one that you already bit a part off?_   
_YH: That was delicious, Woo. Thanks_

_WY: I’ll make sure to take out a box next time, for you_   
_WY: and ME._

_YH: W O W_

  
They bicker continuously in text. Yunho tries hard to hide his smile from the girl who was a seat away from him but for some reason, kept glancing at him. He hopes the girl doesn’t find him weird or whatsoever. Though, he’s sure she took that seat because it was obvious she has a thing for San who normally takes the place beside him. She also probably hates him because he gets too touchy with San at times._ Sorry, not sorry._

While waiting for a reply from Wooyoung, Yunho slides over to his conversation with San. It’s been quiet today with only a little good morning and I love you message with heart emojis from the blond. He texted back naturally but didn’t receive a reply after. This is a hint that San wouldn’t attend any of his class today. It’s been his thing ever since last year that Yunho calls it San’s ‘ghost routine’. Whenever he skips a day, he won’t answer to anyone or to anything.

Yunho would be lying if he said he isn’t concerned. He’s worried. Big time. Once he tried forcing an answer out of the blond but they only ended up in a big fight. He shrugs off the fact that San goes absent occasionally but not being made aware of the reason is something he wouldn’t allow. But after that big fight, Yunho didn’t dare to ask again.

He got scared.

  
_WY: Hey, let’s grab shawarma after. What time does your last class end?_

_YH: We just had lunch an hour ago and you’re already thinking of dinner_   
_YH: 6 pm_

_WY: Will San be joining us by that time?_

Yunho felt like bursting into tears.

_YH: Nah, he’s busy._

Wooyoung isn’t aware of San’s routine and he doesn’t plan on letting him know. He’s absolutely going to hate the blond if he did tell him.

Yunho can’t wait for this day to end. He can’t wait to be with Wooyoung again and relax. The shorter boy brings nothing but peace of mind and happiness to him whenever they’re together. The brown-haired gives the warmest hugs and the most sincere smiles in the world and Yunho can’t help but love everything about him.

Wooyoung makes him feel at ease.  
He makes him feel calm.

He makes him feel like he’s home.

  
“This is good!” Yunho exclaims in delight.

“Told you so!” Wooyoung adorably responses with his mouth quite full.

The shorter male brought him to a shawarma stand near the literature department building. It was fairly new but it’s been going around the university that they sell good-quality food. It is Yunho’s first time to taste since he hasn’t gone much in this side of the campus.

It was a chilly night and he’s thankful for the heat coming from the warm shawarma wrap.

“Do you have any writings to do tonight?” Yunho asks as he continues to eat, surprised at how Wooyoung devoured his already.

“I have two. I’ve started the first one earlier, I’m almost done actually. The other one can wait.” Wooyoung rubs his hands together in an attempt to keep himself warm.

“Ah sorry, I wasn’t able to bring gloves.” Yunho says, staring at the other’s reddish palms.

“Hm? For what?” Wooyoung’s eyebrows furrowed.

“You’re obviously cold.” The taller male casually answers.

“I forgot to bring my own pair but you’re kinda blaming yourself? Thanks for worrying but what the heck? You’re weird.” The brown-haired lets out a laugh.

Right, that was weird for Yunho. It seemed like it was his responsibility to bring gloves for him. He isn’t sure why those were the words he blurted out, to be honest. Maybe it’s his desire to see Wooyoung be his happiest self overwhelming him as a whole.

“How about you though? Don’t you have anything to do?”

“I have to finish a concept draft later. Deadline’s tomorrow.” Yunho says, glancing at his wristwatch. It’s already past 7.

“You should go ahead and finish it. I have to do my writings, can’t afford to cram.” Wooyoung pats him on the shoulder. “Plus you need sleep as soon as possible. You look like a poorly kneaded mochi.”

Wooyoung and his obsession with mochi.

“I guess we’ll message each other instead?” Yunho smiles. The other nods at it before they went their separate ways.

It was quarter to midnight when Yunho finished his concept draft. His hands ached and his table was a mess. His dormitory hosts one person each room so he’s all alone, quiet but it made him lonely sometimes.

He and Wooyoung are having a video call. Yunho witnessed Wooyoung eating 5 different snacks during the hours they were working. Now, he’s hearing him chaotically converse with his two roommates. Yunho loves hearing them have the pettiest fights ever. It entertains him well. Often times, he wants to transfer over to their dormitory but he doesn’t work well if it’s too noisy. Video calls would do it, he thinks.

As he organises his desk, a message pops out on his phone’s screen.

_San: See you tomorrow!_

Yunho stares at the words before dragging the notification up.  
He immediately continues to fix his things.


	3. Chapter 3

San grimaces as he stares at himself in the mirror.

“I look like a mess.” He mumbles to himself as he tries to style his hair differently than his usual but keeps failing.

Unlike his friends, San doesn’t live in the university’s dormitories. He lives in an apartment that he somehow got from someone so he didn’t spend anything at all. He wakes up a bit early because he still needs to catch the bus. He doesn’t have a perfect line of attendance but he hates being late more than being absent.

After grabbing his bag, San immediately checks his phone. There’s only one message and it was obvious that Yunho just left him on read. He replies to the other person and sends a little message to Yunho.

_He knows he’s giving Yunho a hard time._   
_He wants to apologise._   
_He wants to let him know everything._   
_He wants to tell him how messed up his life is._

But he isn’t sure who to trust. Not that Yunho is not trustworthy enough. It’s his fear that overpowers everything— overpowers his decisions, his happiness.

After that one incident several months back, San got scared of everyone. It’s the reason why he simply goes to his classes— goes straight home after. The only people he interacts with are Yunho and Wooyoung. He isn’t entirely sure if he could talk normally to Wooyoung though, given that the guy obviously has something against him but San sees him as a friend at the very least.

He gets on the bus after walking while keeping himself from drowning from all his thoughts. San stands beside a pair of girls in uniform, assumably high school students. He hears them both giggling so he glances at them.

They’re watching the latest variety show Park Seonghwa went to. San smiles a little at this, remembering Yunho and Wooyoung.

“Do you think he’s really gay?” The smaller girl asks her friend with a hint of worry.

San was about to put on his earphones but the question made his hands freeze.

“Again? Are we talking about that dating scandal again?” The taller one sounded a bit pissed off.

“Are you going to drop him if he really has a boyfriend?” 

San plays his playlist on shuffle, not feeling the need of listening to the girls’ conversation. Coincidentally though, Seonghwa’s song plays to which he says a little ‘what the fuck’ inside his head.

He wonders, what do the two dumplings think about that dating scandal? It was an extremely big deal months ago and base on what Yunho told him, he and Wooyoung met online around that time. 

San gets off at the university stop. As soon as he steps out of the bus, he feels the chilly wind and hears the rustling of the leaves. He isn’t sure if this is what exactly relaxes him or if it’s the fact that he sees Yunho from afar, flashing a big grin. 

“I was slightly worried you won’t come to meet me here.” San said with his head down.

“Why wouldn’t I come? Isn’t this a routine already?” Yunho has his confused puppy eyes on which San completely adores.

“Ah.” He smiles widely. “Me and my usual irrational self.” 

Yunho chuckles at this, patting the shorter male’s head as a little sign of assurance. He’s definitely having a hard time dealing with San’s irrational ways but Yunho never fails to show both respect and love to him. San appreciates everything and is just feeling so guilty that he’s hiding things from him. He probably should let Yunho know soon or it might break their relationship soon. For all he knows, the tall guy might actually be thinking of staying away from him already— and that would devastate him.

“How’s Wooyoung?” San continues.

“Hm?” Yunho took a second. “He’s in his usual happy self. Why’d you ask?”

He laughs a little, “I missed him.”   
He’s worried Wooyoung despises him.

“You missed Wooyoung?” The taller male couldn’t help but laugh. It’s a sudden remark but really sweet— something the brown-haired would not expect but be happy about.

“I hope you two won’t hate me in the long run.” San says in a soft voice. Yunho almost didn’t hear the last few words but was able to make it out in his mind.

“What would make us hate you?”

“All sorts of stuff—“ The blond vaguely states. He avoids further conversation about it so he pretends to excitedly run. “Come on! I don’t want to be late for class today.” 

Yunho happily runs after him anyway.

The blond stares at the two, bickering as always. San likes it whenever Wooyoung and Yunho come together in front of him. Seeing them makes everything seem okay. He loves their energy, their enthusiasm about everything, the way they’re casually affectionate towards one another. He’s not going to lie— they actually make a good pair. San couldn’t believe they are already this close even with quite a short time of knowing each other. It’s nice to have some positive energy once in a while. 

“San, what do you think?” Wooyoung asks him out of the blue. Shit, he wasn’t listening well.

“Think of what?” San widens his eye and awkwardly smiles. 

“Wah, you weren’t listening!” The brown-haired somehow exasperates. “Here, here. Which one should I get?” 

San is shown a picture of two hoodies on Wooyoung’s phone, one is red and the other one is yellow. They had similar design printed on them— a big koala embroidery— the only difference they had was the red one had little hearts and the other had stars. He assumed he was being asked to choose which colour suits him more. San sees Wooyoung as a person full of love, wonder, and other intense emotions so he thinks red fits him more.

“Red. Yellow seems more like Yunho’s colour.” The blond responses after taking a minute of looking at the hoodies. “Why don’t you two buy both? It’s like a couple hoodie.”

Yunho laughs at this but Wooyoung seemed a little confused— which San questions inside his head. Why would he look confused?

“San’s right. Let’s get both.” The taller male continues to laugh. “I like the design as well anyway.”

“You would look like a macaw with your blue hair and the yellow hoodie.” Wooyoung cracks up after taking a moment of imagining how Yunho would look like.

San imagines the same thing somehow and laughs too. The blue-haired exclaims a little hey before bursting out laughing along. 

“I would still get it, let’s get it.” Yunho presses something on his phone, presumably the add-to-cart button. 

“Hey wait, I don’t have money yet! I told you I would save up first.” Wooyoung whines and slightly hits his friend. “I’m broke as fuck, I’m not lying.”

The blue-haired pouts. “But it only has a few stocks left.” 

San raises his hand. “I’ll pay for yours, Wooyoung.”

“What? No. Don’t.” The brown-haired firmly shakes his head. 

“Yunho, have it checked out. I’ll pay for his.” The blond insists to which Yunho complies to. 

“What are you doing? Why?” Wooyoung tries to snatch his phone back but San was able to stop him. 

_What is he doing? Why is he doing it?_  
San doesn’t know for sure. It might be his guilt. It might have something to do with making his relationship with Wooyoung less awkward. It might be him reassuring Yunho that he’s fine with the two of them being this close. There are so many possible reasons— and it’s probably because of all of them. 

The past months have been hard for San. He lost a lot of people precious— they left him. It’s not because of nothing though, it was quite understandable he thinks. His friends no longer wanted anything to do with him because of the incident. They thought their lives would get mixed up with his issue and they didn’t want that. However, he understands— he tries to. Everyone left him, all except one. That one person is also the reason why everyone left. San doesn’t blame the person though, he chose for himself and he chose that. Yet he can’t always be dependent. He needed more people in his life but he felt unneeded by them.

But when he met Yunho and eventually Wooyoung, he felt warmth and safety. It felt so new to him after getting accustomed to being alone. San wants to tell them how much they mean to him but he thinks it’s too soon. Plus, Wooyoung still has obvious hesitation in getting closer to him and Yunho still has no fucking idea what really is going on in his life. Someday, he would tell them but the wound that his situation has inflicted on him is still so painful. 

“I love you that’s why.” San smiles. 

“Too cheesy.” Wooyoung makes a slightly snarky expression. It slowly turned to a gentle smile, however. “Thank you. I love you too.”

“I love you both more than you love each other.” Yunho adds in. “This is my first time ever that I’ve heard you two express affection for each other. What did you eat this morning?”

“I had your love for breakfast Yunho.” San cackles.

“I had a sausage bun.” Wooyoung flat out answers.

“Thanks for the realistic answer Wooyoung.” Yunho messes up the shorter male’s hair before beginning to shake out of laughter again.

San plops down on his bed, letting out a quick sigh. He simply dropped everything on the floor the moment he arrived in his apartment. He just took his cat plush to embrace it. 

To think about it— he didn’t feel constantly happy in the past even before the incident. His pain isn’t because he lost people, it’s because he’s alone— and San hates being alone the most. Being alone makes him think about unnecessary things, mostly bad ones. He had a choice and he made it. San doesn’t regret it, not at all. But he wished he didn’t have to lose so much. Then again, what did his family and friends do to him before anyway? _Pressured him. Judged him. Ridiculed him for not being the perfect person they’ve expected him to be._ He feels relieved they aren’t part of his life anymore. 

San notices the deafening silence in his room. He then stands up to switch on the television. He takes the remote and changes the channel and once he did, he sees the gorgeous face of Park Seonghwa. The idol his friends admire so much. It was a replay of his last variety show. San lets go of the remote and sits back down on his bed. He stayed still, staring at the screen. He observes how Seonghwa talks, he listens to every word he says. He looks at the hosts. They were laughing at what the star has said. They were laughing as if there was no tomorrow. The sound of their waves of laughter aren’t exactly comforting. To be honest, it’s annoying. But it was better to hear the irritating guffaws than getting swallowed up by the painful soundlessness.

San continues to stare at the screen and before he knew it, tears began rolling down his cheeks.


End file.
